Marshall: Listen, um, about me getting to second base in tenth grade with Jenna Cristalli...
Lily: I don't know what you're talking about. I've already forgotten about that dumb hobag.
Marshall: Yeah, um, it didn't happen while we were watching Peter Pan. It happened while I was playing Peter Pan. Here's a photo from the day I was cast. That's me in the middle. But then I had my growth spurt. By opening night, I was too big for the flying harness, and, well... I fell hands-first right onto Jenna Cristalli. The tissues in her bra saved me two broken wrists. I'm sorry. I just, I just wanted to have one cool sex story that wasn't you.
Lily: Okay. Next time you tell it, you were in your dad's car, which you stole to go to a Metallica concert, and you got to third base with that slut.
Marshall: I was once with this chick... who is just the best wife ever.