Marshall: Marvin, I'm afraid this night is not much of a winner. Stuck in traffic, now we've missed the whole rehearsal dinner. I pray that I was right and that you'll have no memory of this godforsaken ride down the congested LIE. At least we know one thing for sure: things can't get worse, I swear.
Gus: Adios, truck stop burrito. Ooh! Do not go in there.
Marshall: Okay, one more story, and I'll try to tell it pretty. The tale of Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City.