Ted: All right, guys, this is the biggest case of Marshall's career. That is why it's so great that we all called in sick to work tomorrow, so we could be in that courtroom to support him.
Robin: I didn't call in sick.
Ted: I called in for all of us. Uh, I have strep throat. Robin, bronchitis. Barney, massive hemorrhoids.
Barney: Why'd you have to say "massive"?
Ted: Well, if you're gonna miss work for hemorrhoids, they kind of have to be massive.
Barney: I don't want to sit in a courtroom all day.
Ted: I bet you don't want to sit anywhere with those hemorrhoids.
Barney: I don't have... Shut up.