Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, when you're in your 30s and live in New York, there's a few places you just never want to be. Times Square on New Year's Eve. Rockefeller Center around Christmastime. But most of all...
Ted: A college bar? Oh, man, we're probably gonna run into my students. They're gonna corner me and want a free lecture. I don't even have my slide projector.