Ted: He didn't write me a check.
[flashback to Ted and Tony in the apartment:]
Tony: Ted, I want to offer you a job.
Ted: A job?
Tony: Every year, my family gives a lot of money to Columbia University, so I got some pull. How would you like to design...
Future Ted: [v.o.] My heart leapt into my throat. A new library? A new student center?
Tony: ... your very own curriculum as a professor of architecture.
Ted: No, thanks.