Ted: I totally checked 'plus one', I'm sure I did.
Barney: Yeah, right.
Ted: I did.
Barney: Yeah, I don't think you did. You know why? Because deep down, you didn't want to show up at this thing with a date. See, for all your big talk about being ready for a relationship, deep down you're single. It's your default setting. Ted, you know what's in the back of your brain?
Ted: Oh great, here comes the "little Barney" speech.
Barney: Behind a curtain, in a dark little room, secretly controlling your every move...
Ted & Marshall: A little Barney.
Barney: A little Barney. And you know what he said? [cartoonish voice] "Ted, you will bring no dates to this wedding. You will hit on drunk bridesmaids with actual-size Barney."