Barney Quote #108
Quote from Barney in The Wedding
Ted: I totally checked 'plus one', I'm sure I did.
Barney: Yeah, right.
Ted: I did.
Barney: Yeah, I don't think you did. You know why? Because deep down, you didn't want to show up at this thing with a date. See, for all your big talk about being ready for a relationship, deep down you're single. It's your default setting. Ted, you know what's in the back of your brain?
Ted: Oh great, here comes the "little Barney" speech.
Barney: Behind a curtain, in a dark little room, secretly controlling your every move...
Ted & Marshall: A little Barney.
Barney: A little Barney. And you know what he said? [cartoonish voice] "Ted, you will bring no dates to this wedding. You will hit on drunk bridesmaids with actual-size Barney."
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Wedding’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God, if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you try to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
Barney: Wait, my eyes or my testicles?
Lily: One of each.
Barney: All right, all right.
Quote from Marshall
Ted: I did it. I did it. I'm taking her to the wedding.
Lily: Nice.
Marshall: What? How?
Ted: I talked to Stuart.
Marshall: Oh, you went around the bride. "Oh, this hornet's nest looks harmless. Maybe I'll poke it with a stick. Oh, look, some gremlins, let me go feed them after midnight."
Quote from Future Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] When you're single and your friends start to get married, every wedding invitation presents a strange moment of self-evaluation. Will you be bringing a guest or will you be attending alone? What it's really asking is: where do you see yourself in three months? Sitting next to your girlfriend or hitting on a bridesmaid? I always checked that I was bringing a guest. I was an optimist.