Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, relationships are built on trust. So unlike Uncle Barney, I wasn't gonna keep digging and digging.
Ted: Did you start a fire?
Jeanette: This is embarrassing. I wasn't gonna tell you this, but... I'd come so far, only to be sent packing by that security guard... and, well... I'm sorry. I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you.
[later, in the apartment:]
Ted: Could not stand the idea of not meeting me.
Marshall: She set a fire, Ted! Dahmer.
Ted: You're just jealous 'cause Lily never burned anything for you.
Marshall: Clearly you never tried her pot roast.
[Barney hits a rim shot on a portable drum.]
Barney: I actually brought this for something different, but it worked out, right?