Marshall: You are gonna return that ashtray, and you're gonna pray that he doesn't press charges, because I can't be in a marriage where one of us is in prison. I know that we role-play conjugal visits a lot, but I can't do that for realsies.
Lily: I'm sorry. All rulings are final. I am not taking it back.
Marshall: Oh, my God! Lily, what is the big deal? Okay, so what? So he said you're just a kindergarten teacher. Why do you let that bother you?
Lily: Because he was right. I am just a kindergarten teacher. And, yes, I have a degree in art history and I was
meant to do something with it, but I didn't. Somewhere along the line, I forgot to pursue my dream, and... and now I'm old and I'm a mom and it's just too late for me.