Barney: So really, really, you're not mad?
Loretta: No, I'm just confused. I don't know why you thought you had to do this. Barney, I love you, perfect family or no perfect family. I love you no matter what.
Barney: Really?
Loretta: Really.
Barney: I am so relieved because the truth is I am as far from married as a human being can possibly be. My history with women would shock and appall you.
Loretta: Doesn't matter. I still love you.
Barney: Seriously, you can't imagine the things I have done.
Loretta: Barney, when you were three, I left you with a babysitter and spent three weeks with Grand Funk Railroad being passed around like a bong.
Barney: Mommy!
Loretta: Just do me a favor. If you ever do meet someone special, don't run away from it. Don't be me. Take a shot at it, will you?
Robin: Hey, Barney. Cab's here.
Barney: I'll try.