Lily: I can't believe we haven't met you before. Who knew Barney had such a great mom?
Loretta: Oh, thanks, dear. Truth is, I wasn't always the best mother when I was younger.
Marshall: Oh, don't say that. I'm sure you were great.
Loretta: Yeah, I was a bit of a whore.
Lily: Excuse me?
Loretta: A whore, dear. A dirty whore. I'm not proud of it. But... still, I had some fun. There is no thrill equal to looking into some guy's eyes and thinking, "I don't know your name, you don't know mine, but... for the next eight minutes, we are gonna rock this gas station bathroom right off its foundation." And then just drive off in opposite directions. Just keep driving.
Marshall: Barney's mom?
Lily: Loretta.
Marshall: Loretta.
Loretta: Anyway, that's, that's all in the past now. I did the best I could. But sometimes I wonder how Barney
turned out to be so perfect.