Jill: You're evolving.
Tim: No, I'm not! And you take that back!
Jill: It's true. You are.
Tim: Now, now, now. You're just saying that because you want to believe that you married a deep guy.
Jill: No, I don't.
Tim: Yes! Can't you see, you're just trying to prove that you married somebody different than your father, honey.
Jill: Wow!
Tim: What?
Jill: That was an even more profound insight than the one that you had about Harry!
Tim: I can't stop myself. What's happening to me?
Jill: You're becoming insightful.
Tim: [grunts] Oh, no.
Jill: Don't fight it, Tim. Come over to our side.
Tim: Oh, no. Never. You and your kind have done enough damage already.

Tim: Trouble with Harry and Delores.
Wilson: Oh. So you're telling me that Delores and Harry may bid each other a not-so-fond adieu.
Tim: This has nothing to do with a bowl of hot cheese.
Wilson: I gathered that, Tim.

Delores: What do you want?
Tim: I want to talk about Harry.
Delores: Sorry, that's not on the menu. Now, what's it gonna be?
Tim: Come on, ever since you left, Harry's not been himself.
Delores: I'm heartbroken. Now, just order something and leave me a big tip.

Tim: He's a mess.
Delores: How do you know?
Tim: The way he's been acting.
Delores: He's moping around, huh?
Tim: Well, in a singing/dancing/moping kind of way.
Delores: So he's singing and dancing now that I'm gone?
Tim: I know that sounds bad. But you know why he's doing that? He's covering because he really misses you.
Delores: Of course he misses me. What's not to miss?
Man: Miss, could I get a little more coffee?
Delores: When I'm good and ready!

Tim: And, Delores, I might have said things that made the situation worse. I hate to see a good marriage go bad.
Delores: What does a good marriage have to do with me and Harry?
Tim: Come on, I know that Harry still loves you. I can tell by the twinkle in your eye that you love him.
Delores: It's pinkeye. You want toast?
Tim: No.

Jill: Tim, l... I just... I can't tell you how impressed I am by the emotional depth that I've seen in you lately.
Tim: You know, I've always had this sneaky, yet slightly disturbing, suspicion that there actually might be something to me.
Jill: I knew it all along.
Tim: I might be just hiding my depth because I'm afraid it might separate me from the shallow people I'm most comfortable with.
Jill: Who exactly are you talking about?
Tim: You find this threatening, intimidating, don't you? Well, just get used to it. Because I'm finding the deeper I go, the more riches I discover.
Jill: Tim... You know, you can go too far with this. I think you should keep your insights to just one a month.
Tim: I don't think I can do that.
Jill: Oh, come on. Bring me back my old Tim. Grunt for me.
Tim: OK. I'll give it a shot. [weak grunt] Ar... Ar... I don't think that's... It's not happening, honey. [Jill kisses him] Mm. [grunts] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!
Jill: He's back.

Wilson: Well, what I'm saying is, if you're having trouble getting through to Harry, why don't you try to approach Delores?
Tim: Oh, talk to Delores.
Wilson: Mm-hmm.
Tim: I could do that. Or shove my head in a bench grinder.

Man: Uh, what about my coffee?
Delores: What? Your legs broken?
Man: Is that decaf?
Delores: Is that what you want?
Man: Yes.
Delores: Then that's what it is.

Al: Well, we have a very special Tool Time today.
Tim: Yeah, we do! Making a rare TV appearance, one of the biggest superstars we've had on this show. Want you to give a warm Tool Time welcome to... a 1950 customized Mercury. Not bad, huh?
Al: Actually, Tim, this is not our guest today. Our special guest is the man that owns this car.
Tim: Oh, him.
Al: Yes. Well, he happens to be the Country Music Association's "Entertainer of the Year." Let's have a big Tool Time welcome for a great singing star and fellow Al, Mr. Alan Jackson.
Tim: That's quite a car. Who did the customizing for you?
Alan Jackson: I thought you were taller than that.
Tim: [chuckles] I look bigger on TV.
Alan Jackson: Joe Bailon did that.
Tim: Oh, Joe Bailon did that! Actually, Joe Bailon's a classic customizer. One of the best. Wish you could get him on the show for us?
Al: Tim, Mr. Jackson is here because he has graciously offered to sing us a song.

Randy: Hey, Dad, how come you're having people over for dinner? I thought you hated that.
Tim: It's a social obligation. Harry and Delores had us for dinner. So, we're having them for the dinner. Then they'll probably want us for dinner again. And we'll have them for dinner. Then us, then them, and then us again. It's... it's kind of a vicious cycle, actually.
Brad: Can't you do anything to stop the cycle?
Tim: Nope. My generation is doomed. My only hope is that you young people can finally put an end to this madness.
Randy: Yeah. We'll get right on it right after we patch up that little hole in the ozone layer.