TV Quotes

Jill: Heart attack? I can't believe this, I just talked to him, he sounded fine.
Tim: I know.
Jill: What about Mom? I should...
Tim: She's holding up real well. She's holding up real well. [Jill cries on Tim's shoulder] I booked you on a morning flight, OK? As soon I tie-up the loose ends here, I'll bring the boys. We'll head out tomorrow afternoon.
Jill: [cries] OK. OK. Oh, no! Oh, no!
Tim: It's OK. I'll pack. You don't have to worry about a thing. I'll do...
Jill: No. You don't understand. Dad called and asked if he could come visit here. I made up that story about how I was sick. How could I do that?
Tim: You didn't know this was going to happen. You just needed time for yourself. There's nothing wrong with that.
Jill: Don't you understand? I could've seen him one more time. I could've told him that I loved him. The last thing that I said to my father was a lie!
Tim: Hey, hey, hey, hey... [Jill sobs]

Tim: Need help with that collar?
Randy: No, Dad. I know how to iron for a funeral. You just set the dial to "stiff."
Tim: Randy?
Randy: Yeah, Dad. I don't know why I'm making these stupid jokes.
Tim: It's OK. Sometimes making jokes is a way to deal with the loss of somebody. You know, that's how you grieve. I did the same thing at my dad's funeral.
Randy: Oh, yeah. I mean, now that you talk about it, I remember at Aunt Rita's funeral, you had some good jokes. And you killed.
Tim: The truth is, in these situations, you got to be careful who you make the jokes around.
Randy: Dad, I know. I mean, I would never say this kind of stuff around Grandma.
Tim: And make no jokes around your mom, or Mark, or anybody sensitive. Just do 'em around me.

Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.

Jill: Yeah, well this is only about ten percent of my problems. The other 90 percent... I'm married, too. You see, my husband, he's going through this sort of midlife crisis thing, you know, "Who am I? Where am I? Should I grow a beard? Should I buy a hunting lodge?" And then... And then... And then today, Brad spilled a soda on my paper, Mark's asking for skulls, and before I knew it, I was asking my husband to start construction on an office.
Dr. Breen: What's- What's wrong with your husband building you an office?
Jill: I'm married to Tim Taylor.
Dr. Breen: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor?
Jill: Yeah, and maybe you'd better switch to a tape recorder here.
Dr. Breen: I hope I have enough batteries.