Tim Quote #1548
Quote from Tim in A House Divided
Jill: What are you doing?
Tim: Just putting a little attachment on your garbage disposal.
Jill: Don't touch that! It's working fine.
Tim: Oh, it's working fine if you want to grind up normal stuff, which it doesn't do that well anyway, but I got a vision. I'm talking about real stuff - whole corn on the cob with the husk included. Avocado pits? Heck, avocado trees ought to go down this thing. Other tool guys ask, "Why?" This tool man asks, "Why not?"
Jill: This tool man's wife asks, "Why me?"
Tim: I'll show you why, you. Just in case you need extra power. [motor revving] [Tim drops whole cobs of corn down the disposal]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘A House Divided’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Jill: Hey, guys, can you keep it down?
Tim: Yeah, yeah. Come on, Benny.
Benny: Hiya, roomie.
Jill: I beg your pardon?
Tim: Didn't I tell you I was gonna tell her?
Benny: Tim blew up my house. Need I say more?
Tim: I didn't blow up your house. I didn't blow up his house.
Quote from Tim
Al: Benny! Did your aunt happen to mention that there's also a gas leak in the stove?
Benny: Maybe. It's hard to understand her when she's not wearing her teeth.
Al: You realize there's the possibility gas has been leaking into this house for the last half hour? The slightest spark could cause combustion.
Benny: Take it easy. I disconnected all the electrical appliances like you told me.
Al: Ah, good.
Benny: Except that lamp over there. But you don't have to worry. It's the kind that only goes on when you clap.
Tim: Come on, guys. Let's go. [claps]
[After Al and Benny see the lamp turn on, Al grabs Tim and they dive for cover before the house explodes]
Tim: Let me guess. There was another leak?
Al: The stove.
Tim: Benny!
Quote from Benny
Benny: Can you guys loan me a space heater?
Al: What for?
Benny: The furnace in my residence has a gas leak. I don't have the means to get it fixed.
Harry: What kind of dump are you living in now?
Benny: For your edification, it's an eight-room house. One room, I'm not sure what it is. It's got a lot of books in it.
Tim: The bathroom.
Al: You can't afford an eight-room house.
Benny: True, but my beloved aunt is in Florida for a few months. And while the aunt's away, the nephew will stay.
Tim: My guess is he won't pay.
Benny: And I'm covered till May.