Tim Quote #1377
Tim: How was school?
Jill: Oh, it was great. I got my first A!
Tim: Congratulations. Well, that goes on the refrigerator.
Jill: No. No, Tim. This is a paper on abnormal sexuality.
Tim: Put it up in the bedroom.
Jill: We don't need it.
Quote from Tim
Tim: What we have here, honey, is a simple case of sibling rivalry.
Tim: Which just proves, Ms. Straight-A Student, that I might know just about as much about psychology as you do.
Jill: Oh, really? What causes sibling rivalry?
Tim: Having more than one kid.
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.