Tim Quote #1386
Tim: What we have here, honey, is a simple case of sibling rivalry.
Tim: Which just proves, Ms. Straight-A Student, that I might know just about as much about psychology as you do.
Jill: Oh, really? What causes sibling rivalry?
Tim: Having more than one kid.
Quote from Randy
Tim: What are we waiting for?
Randy: Well, it's gonna take a minute to boot up. I still have that old I30 chip in it. Not much power.
Tim: Are you saying this thing needs more power? Lemme open it up. I can make this thing go faster.
Randy: Well, why don't we just save you the trouble and throw it up against the wall?
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.