Randy Quote #149
Quote from Randy in Too Many Cooks
Randy: Oh, man. I am such a dork. [throws snowball at Wilson's house]
Wilson: Experiencing some adolescent angst, preteen Taylor?
Randy: Oh... Sorry, Wilson.
Wilson: Mm-hmm.
Randy: I just made a jerk of myself in front of a girl.
Wilson: Well, Randy Taylor, welcome to the tribe of men.
Randy: I mean, I don't get it. I really like Beth, but ever since she got here, I've been saying really dumb things.
Wilson: Well, Randy, probably that's because you're sailing in unfamiliar waters. I'm sure the first time Romeo met a girl, he probably said some dumb things, too. [looks over the fence] Hello?
Randy: [waves] Right here. Did Romeo ask Juliet if she wanted a "booger cookie"?
Wilson: Mm... mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm, mmm. Now, that is a gaffe and a half. [chuckles]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Too Many Cooks’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: Hi. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And you all know my assistant Al "This Land Is" Borland. Today we're talking about Binford's new high-tech security alarm systems for cars, 'cause a secure car... is a happy car. While a car that isn't so secure can cost you thousands of dollars in therapy fees.
Al: Now, the most inexpensive way to protect your car is with the Binford 6100 steering-wheel lock.
Tim: It's a good lock, Al, but if you've got a larger car - a monster truck, front-end loader or a space shuttle - you want the Binford 61,000,000. Now, there's a lock. Look at the size of that thing.
Al: Well, if you wanna go the more sophisticated route...
Tim: [English accent] You might wanna watch Masterpiece Tool Time with your host Alistair Bo-o-o-orland.
Al: Would that be an English accent? I was talking more along the lines of an electric car alarm, the most basic of which will go off if your doors or windows are tampered with.
Tim: Right, but you can customize. You can have automatic door locks, ignition cutoff, gas cutoff. And not a moment too soon.
Al: Oh, very funny, Tim. I'm sure our nursery-school viewers are rolling in their sandboxes.
Tim: [hisses] Now, if you wanna go the whole hog, you... No. You probably want the Binford Thiefbuster 1000. It has a personalized voice warning system. I installed it on this pony myself. [alarm chirps] Act like a thief.
Tim's voice: [on alarm] Back away, Flannel Man! Back away, Flannel Man! Back away, Flannel Man! Back away, Flannel Man!
Quote from Al
Al: Good night, Mrs. McDowell. Thank you for coming, Mrs. Yost. Remember the weather report from the kitchen - "Chili today, hot tamale."
Quote from Heidi
Heidi: Does everybody know who's in the kitchen?
Audience: Irma!
Heidi: That's right, it's Cooking With Irma... with special guest chef Al Borland!