Wilson Quote #104
Tim: Think about it, Wilson. I'll be driving the fastest riding lawn mower on earth.
Wilson: Uh-huh, uh-huh-huh-huh.
Tim: I'm gonna be a lawn-mowing legend. [grunts]
Wilson: Well, Tim. It sounds to me like you're dealing with hubris.
Tim: Hubris? What's that in English?
Wilson: It is English. It means "excessive pride."
Tim: Oh, yeah, I got that. [grunts]
Wilson: Not necessarily a good thing.
Tim: I don't have that. I don't want it.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Oh, ignore him. He's always in a snit when Bob Vila's on the show.
Karen: Isn't he the guy that has that national tool show that Tim ripped off?
Tim: Don't start, Karen, please. All I've heard all week long is, "Bob Vila this, Bob Vila that." What does Bob Vila have that I don't?
Karen: High ratings.
Karen: Big salary.
Tim: Are you through?
Jill: Oh, pookie. We're just kidding. Remember, you have something to be proud of that Bob Vila does not have.
Tim: Oh, yeah. What?
Quote from Tim
Tim: Yeah, thanks, Officer. I'll make sure I get those tickets for Tool Time for you. You bet. So... how was your day?
Jill: Well... When I heard on the news that there was a lawn mower running amuck down I-96, with a police helicopter in hot pursuit, I thought to myself, "Could this be my husband?" Are you all right?
Tim: Pretty good chance of that. Yeah, I'm all right. There's good news and bad news. The bad news is... I got a ticket and they impounded the lawn mower.
Jill: What's the good news?
Tim: Good news is... I mowed 40 lawns and made 186 bucks.
Quote from Bye Bye Birdie
Tim: I want Brad to be a good student.
Tim: So I told him that multiplying compound fractions is a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that, Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy. Then you moved in.
Quote from Doctor in the House
Wilson: A Ph.D.?! Tim? Aw, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill... Do you realize how many hours I had to study to get my doctorate in forgotten languages and extinct cultures? Oh, my, my, my. Sitting in that library, reading that insufferable microfilm till I thought I would practically go blind? Not to mention that to support myself, I had to volunteer as a subject for lab experiments. Oh, oh. And the thing that really irritates me about this whole thing...
Wilson: Oh, Jill, Jill, talk me down, talk me down.
Jill: I came out here so you'd talk me down.
Wilson: Oh, I'm sorry, Jill. I just lost control.