Tim Quote #350
Quote from Tim in Al's Fair in Love and War
Tim: Jill, are you still digging through boxes?
Jill: Tim, it's called spring cleaning.
Tim: Jill, it's called "lug it away". You go through the box, you pull out stuff, you say: "Oh, doesn't this bring back fond memories?" Then you put it right back in the box and have me lug it away.
Jill: Well, here, you big lug. Lug this.
Tim: What's the magic word?
Jill: [grunts]
Tim: No, that's "thank you". "Please" is... [grunts]
Jill: [grunts]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Al's Fair in Love and War’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: It's just my diary from college. There's nothing that would interest you in here.
Tim: Really? Hey, what about that steamy night in Saugatuck we spent, huh?
Jill: There might be one short paragraph.
Tim: I bet it says something like. "Tonight, I saw paradise."
Jill: "And it was a very small island."
Quote from Tim
Tim: No, no, no. I promised I wouldn't touch it. [Randy starts to walk away with Jill's diary] Whoa. But that doesn't stop you from putting it out and accidentally opening it up.
Randy: Wait a second. This could be worth something. I could tell Mom about this.
Tim: And I could duct-tape you to a ceiling fan and force-feed you liver.
Randy: How's "August 22. 1974"?
Quote from Randy
Tim: Gather around, my sons.
Randy: What's up, Dad?
Tim: Tonight, we put a carcass on the grill, oil up our bodies, put our loincloths on and celebrate...
the first barbecue of the season. [grunts] And you'll notice, Daddy-o here has a 20-gallon steel cylinder filled with propane. I've increased the outlet valve of this twice over. Which means we'll be cooking with what?
Randy: The fire department?