Tim Quote #360

Quote from Tim in Al's Fair in Love and War

Tim: No, no, no. I promised I wouldn't touch it. [Randy starts to walk away with Jill's diary] Whoa. But that doesn't stop you from putting it out and accidentally opening it up.
Randy: Wait a second. This could be worth something. I could tell Mom about this.
Tim: And I could duct-tape you to a ceiling fan and force-feed you liver.
Randy: How's "August 22. 1974"?


 ‘Al's Fair in Love and War’ Quotes

Quote from Jill

Jill: It's just my diary from college. There's nothing that would interest you in here.
Tim: Really? Hey, what about that steamy night in Saugatuck we spent, huh?
Jill: There might be one short paragraph.
Tim: I bet it says something like. "Tonight, I saw paradise."
Jill: "And it was a very small island."

Quote from Randy

Tim: Gather around, my sons.
Randy: What's up, Dad?
Tim: Tonight, we put a carcass on the grill, oil up our bodies, put our loincloths on and celebrate...
the first barbecue of the season. [grunts] And you'll notice, Daddy-o here has a 20-gallon steel cylinder filled with propane. I've increased the outlet valve of this twice over. Which means we'll be cooking with what?
Randy: The fire department?

Quote from Tim

Tim: And spring is the time that a young man's fancy turns to love and outdoor lighting. Yes, outdoor lighting can enhance the back yard in a variety of ways. For example, this is the type of lighting you want in your back yard if you have a pool.
Audience: Ooh.
Tim: And this is the type of lighting you want if you have a patio.
Audience: Aah.
Tim: And this is the type of lighting you want if you have a big monument.
["Hail to the Chief" plays as Tim holds a picture of the Washington Monument]