Tim Quote #2557
Randy: Grandma's on the phone. She wants to talk to you.
Tim: Thanks. [on the phone] Hi, Lillian. No, Jill's not here. She's... ...out, you know, buying stuff to nurse her cold. What? Oh, my God! That's horrible, Lillian. How did it happen? Oh, you... How are you doing? Oh, boy! This is horrible news, Lillian. What can I do? Just tell... Yeah. Go ahead and call all of them. I'll have Jill call as soon she gets back. OK. Bye.
Wilson: Tim, what happened?
Tim: Jill's dad died.
Wilson: Oh, Tim. I'm so sorry.
Al: Oh, so am l. What... what happened? Was the colonel sick?
Tim: No. It was a heart attack. Sudden.
Heidi: That's awful. Poor Jill.
Tim: I'll have to take the family to Texas. You'll have to take care of Tool Time.
Al: Of course.
Tim: See you, guys.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Taps’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: Heart attack? I can't believe this, I just talked to him, he sounded fine.
Tim: I know.
Jill: What about Mom? I should...
Tim: She's holding up real well. She's holding up real well. [Jill cries on Tim's shoulder] I booked you on a morning flight, OK? As soon I tie-up the loose ends here, I'll bring the boys. We'll head out tomorrow afternoon.
Jill: [cries] OK. OK. Oh, no! Oh, no!
Tim: It's OK. I'll pack. You don't have to worry about a thing. I'll do...
Jill: No. You don't understand. Dad called and asked if he could come visit here. I made up that story about how I was sick. How could I do that?
Tim: You didn't know this was going to happen. You just needed time for yourself. There's nothing wrong with that.
Jill: Don't you understand? I could've seen him one more time. I could've told him that I loved him. The last thing that I said to my father was a lie!
Tim: Hey, hey, hey, hey... [Jill sobs]
Quote from Tim
Minister: Come on, everyone. Who has a story about Colonel Patterson they'd like to share? [Tim raises his hand] Tim.
Tim: Oh... remember the first time that Jill brought me to meet the colonel?
Jill: Oh, yeah. I remember that.
Tim: When Jill finally left us alone, the colonel turned to me and said from the bottom of his heart, [deep voice] "Son, how much will it take for you to turn around and never come back?" But it was years later, he gave me the best compliment ever, he said, [deep voice] "Son, ten grand! That's my final offer! You can't handle the truth!"
Quote from Randy
Tim: Need help with that collar?
Randy: No, Dad. I know how to iron for a funeral. You just set the dial to "stiff."
Tim: Randy?
Randy: Yeah, Dad. I don't know why I'm making these stupid jokes.
Tim: It's OK. Sometimes making jokes is a way to deal with the loss of somebody. You know, that's how you grieve. I did the same thing at my dad's funeral.
Randy: Oh, yeah. I mean, now that you talk about it, I remember at Aunt Rita's funeral, you had some good jokes. And you killed.
Tim: The truth is, in these situations, you got to be careful who you make the jokes around.
Randy: Dad, I know. I mean, I would never say this kind of stuff around Grandma.
Tim: And make no jokes around your mom, or Mark, or anybody sensitive. Just do 'em around me.