Tim Quote #2046
Quote from Tim in Engine and a Haircut, Two Fights
Kendall: Well, when he was 15, Cloyd came home with one of those punk haircuts. You know, the kind with those sticky spikes sticking out all over.
Tim: This is what you do. Just grab him by the heels and use him to aerate your lawn.
Kendall: You're kidding, right?
Tim: Yeah. [mouths] Wow. [talks] So when he came home with the bad haircut, you... I can tell, you laid down the law, didn't you?
Kendall: I grounded him till he agreed to get himself a normal haircut. Boy, was he mad at me.
Tim: But you gotta get past that. A kid's gonna be mad at you. Don't worry about a kid being mad, 'cause you just want the best for him. You want him to be someone you can be proud of.
Kendall: That's right, Tim.
Tim: So, he's 19 now. Years have passed. How's Cloyd doing now?
Kendall: Well, it's kinda hard to say. I haven't heard from him since he shaved his head and joined that cult. Yeah, but the wife says they even gave him one of those silly names. Now he's Baba Ram Cloyd.
Tim: [laughs] You're kidding.
Kendall: What do you think?
Tim: It's getting pretty darn hard to tell right now.
Kendall: Well, unfortunately, I'm not kidding, Tim.
Tim: Well... We'll be right back with Tool Time after these messages from Binford Tools.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Engine and a Haircut, Two Fights’ Quotes
Quote from Randy
Wilson: "Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."
Jill: Well, I guess I'm the one that's no longer a Capulet. Apparently, I've been replaced.
Randy: No, you haven't. I was just out here rehearsing with Wilson so I'd be good enough to rehearse with you.
Wilson: Jill, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was usurping your role.
Jill: Oh, come on. You've had your eye on this part all week.
Wilson: Now, that is not true! Young Randy came out here and beseeched me to step into the role.
Jill: You beseeched him?
Randy: I didn't beseech anybody! I don't even know what "beseech" means.
Quote from Wilson
Randy: "When he bestrides the lazy puffing clouds and floats upon the bosom of the air."
Wilson: "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name."
Randy: Oh, Wilson. I gotta tell you you're a much better Juliet than Mom.
Wilson: Well, thank you, young Randy. I wouldn't want to disparage another actor, but at the Greenville School for Boys, I was known as quite a breathtaking Juliet. And it wasn't easy playing a love scene opposite that pimple-faced Herman Dilbert. You know, I got nothing from him. It was like acting with a head of lettuce.
Randy: Wilson, could we?
Quote from Randy
Randy: I don't know. One of those kids has been the lead in all the school plays.
Jill: But I'll bet that he doesn't come from a theatrical family.
Randy: I hate to break this to you, Mom, but Tool Time isn't exactly great theater. Even though it does usually end in tragedy.