Tim Quote #1701
Quote from Tim in Her Cheatin' Mind
Al: Welcome to "Gadget Corner."
Tim: We're going to show you products to make you go, "Wow," and your wife go, "How are we gonna pay for this stuff?!"
Al: Actually, Tim, today's products are something any woman would love to have in her home. And to demonstrate that for us is Tool Time's very own gadget expert, June Palmer.
Tim: Always nice to have you here, June.
June: Really? How come I haven't been on the show for four years?
Tim: Budget problems. But we got it worked out. Al's gonna take a cut in pay.
Al: My pay couldn't get any lower.
Al: So, June, what have you got for us today?
June: Well, first up we have a "Suck-A-Bug."
Tim: Four years and the best you can come up with is "Suck-A-Bug"?
June: It's an easy way to get rid of those annoying pests. [points it at Tim] Oh, I see you have a bug over here. You just turn it on... And bye-bye, buggie!
Tim: Hey! That's pretty cool, actually. Rechargable, one-piece styrene. I like that, Al. Look at that! No more pests. And this little device down here? What's that supposed to do? [shoots the squished bug onto Al's forehead]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Her Cheatin' Mind’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.
Quote from Tim
Jill: So, don't you have a poker game tonight?
Tim: You know, I thought I'd blow it off tonight.
Jill: What?
Tim: In the hopes of joining the book group.
Jill: Tim, to participate in this book group you have to have read Madame Bovary.
Tim: Ah, yes! Flaubert's brilliant psychological profile... of a woman in search of transcendence.
Sharon: I think that's a very astute synopsis.
Tim: Well, I've always been a very astute synopsizer.
Quote from Jill
Randy: Just got a little book to read. Tale of Two Cities.
Tim: Don't play a tape! Read the book, will ya, Randy?
Randy: I got the idea from you.
Tim: Well, don't tell your mom you got the idea from me.
Randy: Don't worry, Dad. She's not gonna find out.
Male Narrator: [on tape] A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times..."
Jill: [on tape] It's going to be the worst of times for you if you don't turn this off and go read the book! Oh, and I don't care what your father told you.
Tim: Hey, fast-forward past that thing.