Tim Quote #1716
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Chicago Hope
Tim: It's both of us, you know. I've been working so hard, you've been at school.
Jill: That's no excuse. I just read this survey. It said that that some couples, no matter how busy they are, still make love five times a week.
Tim: With each other?!
Jill: Yeah. Yeah, I'm serious.
Tim: Five nights a week? I'm surprised they have the energy for the survey.
Quote from The Look
Benny: What's the look?
Tim: Oh, come on. It's just the most potent weapon in a woman's arsenal. Her face will transform right in front of you. Her lips get really tight like this.
Marty: Yeah. And then her whole face shrivels up. It's like...
Harry: Yeah. And then her eyes get real small and meet right in the middle of her head like a Cyclops in a housecoat.
Tim: Just when you think you can't take anymore, she lines you up and finishes you off.
Benny: Ohh! I'm never getting married. And not just because women can't stand me.
Quote from Tim
Jill: So, don't you have a poker game tonight?
Tim: You know, I thought I'd blow it off tonight.
Tim: In the hopes of joining the book group.
Jill: Tim, to participate in this book group you have to have read Madame Bovary.
Tim: Ah, yes! Flaubert's brilliant psychological profile... of a woman in search of transcendence.
Sharon: I think that's a very astute synopsis.
Tim: Well, I've always been a very astute synopsizer.
Quote from Jill
Randy: Just got a little book to read. Tale of Two Cities.
Tim: Don't play a tape! Read the book, will ya, Randy?
Randy: I got the idea from you.
Tim: Well, don't tell your mom you got the idea from me.
Randy: Don't worry, Dad. She's not gonna find out.
Male Narrator: [on tape] A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times..."
Jill: [on tape] It's going to be the worst of times for you if you don't turn this off and go read the book! Oh, and I don't care what your father told you.
Tim: Hey, fast-forward past that thing.
Quote from Tim
Mark: I have to define a pronoun.
Tim: Pronoun? That's easy. Pronoun is a noun that gets paid what an amateur noun would do for free.
Mark: I'll just wait for Mom.
Jill: Hi. Honey, what are you still doin' up?
Mark: I needed help with my homework. I have to define a pronoun.
Jill: OK, a pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. Like, if you were to say, "It's between you and me." "It", "you" and "me" would all be pronouns.
Tim: Both definitions are considered acceptable.