Tim Quote #1716

Quote from Tim in Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.

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 ‘Her Cheatin' Mind’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Jill: So, don't you have a poker game tonight?
Tim: You know, I thought I'd blow it off tonight.
Jill: What?
Tim: In the hopes of joining the book group.
Jill: Tim, to participate in this book group you have to have read Madame Bovary.
Tim: Ah, yes! Flaubert's brilliant psychological profile... of a woman in search of transcendence.
Sharon: I think that's a very astute synopsis.
Tim: Well, I've always been a very astute synopsizer.

Quote from Jill

Randy: Just got a little book to read. Tale of Two Cities.
Tim: Don't play a tape! Read the book, will ya, Randy?
Randy: I got the idea from you.
Tim: Well, don't tell your mom you got the idea from me.
Randy: Don't worry, Dad. She's not gonna find out.
Male Narrator: [on tape] A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times..."
Jill: [on tape] It's going to be the worst of times for you if you don't turn this off and go read the book! Oh, and I don't care what your father told you.
Tim: Hey, fast-forward past that thing.

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from The Vasectomy One

Tim: I thought you were talking about the tube-tying thing.
Jill: Well, I am talking about tube-tying, except it's your tubes.
Tim: You can back up that clip ship right now.
Jill: Honey, it is much safer for a man to get a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation.
Tim: Says who? The Wives with Knives Club?