Randy Quote #175
Brad: Mom saw this and Dad's still alive?
Randy: Yeah, well, the night is still young.
Tim: [enters] Hey, shut that off. You guys shouldn't be watching that.
Brad: Why not?
Tim: Why? Because it's private adult stuff. You wouldn't understand.
Randy: You're making fun of Mom. What's so hard to understand?
Tim: I'm not making fun of Mom. I'm making fun of my wife.
Randy: Dad, I don't know if you realize this, but they're the same person.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Something else I figured out we might do. I'm gonna take you to see those three tenors that you love on PBS. Paparazzi, Manicotti and Flamingo. [imitating opera singer]
Jill: Tim, you just named a photographer, a food and a hotel.
Tim: I don't care what they do, they sing great.
Jill: Well, that would be really nice, because... it's always been my fantasy to be with a man who enjoyed doing the same things I do. You know, like taking me to the opera, the ballet, the theater.
Tim: That's my fantasy too.
Tim: Mm-hm. If I could find that man, I wouldn't have to go myself.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, Jill, the renowned psychiatrist lrvin D. Yalom postulated that men relieve their isolation by bonding over common fears and experiences.
Jill: Oh, please, Yalom was talking about universality as it applies to formal therapy, not a bunch of guys sitting around dumping on their wives.
Wilson: [momentarily speechless] Well, well, well- That's an excellent point. However, knowing Tim, I'm sure it was just an innocent exchange bearing no real malice. [chuckles] As Freud so humorously pointed out, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Jill: That is such a crock. As Carl Jung says: "if people can be educated to see the lowly side of their own natures, then they might also understand their fellow man or woman better."
Wilson: With due respect to Jung, I believe it was Bruno Bettelheim...
Jill: Oh, don't Bettelheim me. Tim was talking about me behind my back, and you know what Andrea Dworkin says about that.
Wilson: Well, actually, I don't.
Jill: She says that if women talk about people behind their backs, it's "gossip," but if men do it, it's "male bonding."
Wilson: You know, Jill, ever since you decided to go back to school, you've made things so very, very hard on me.
Quote from The Longest Day
Randy: Why does this bad stuff always have to happen to me?
Tim: Well, bad stuff happens to everybody. Bad stuff happens to me all the time.
Randy: Yeah, but you cause it.
Quote from Say Goodnight, Gracie
Tim: [deep voice] No. Leave the girl alone. Give me my bamboo. My bamboo.
Gracie: Oh, Mr. Panda, thank you so much from saving me from Mr. Monkey.
Tim: Oh, don't thank me. Thank Mr. Tiger.
Gracie: That's Mr. Lion Cub.
Tim: Sorry. I've never been a lion cub before.
Randy: Well, I have. You know, I gotta tell you, it's a tough gig. Everyone expects you to be king.