Jill Quote #232
Quote from Jill in Dances with Tools
Tim: There's other dance studios we can go to, you know.
Jill: You know, you always do this. You always ridicule everything that is important to me.
Tim: No, I don't. I was just trying to make your gift as special as the steer... steer... The steer. A steer. What a gift that would be. A steer. You could have a steer out there, get beef and milk out of the same animal.
Jill: You snooped.
Tim: I did not.
Jill: You snooped around and found the steering wheel.
Tim: It's not like you hid it very well. You put it in the broom closet.
Jill: When was the last time you used the broom? Thank you for ruining both gifts.
Tim: I love the steering wheel.
Jill: Exactly, which is why I would have liked to have seen you open it.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Dances with Tools’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Jerry Holborne: We award this certificate to Tim Taylor for his efforts to promote safety at home and on the job.
Al: You're getting an award for safety?
Tim: Yeah, I am, flannel boy. You got a problem with that?
Al: Well, I guess they didn't see the show where you fell through the roof of the project house.
Tim: Maybe they didn't, Al.
Al: Or the time you glued your head to the table.
Tim: Al!
Al: Or the time when you stapled the...
Tim: Jerry... Jerry, continue.
Jerry Holborne: Your clever staging of realistic-looking accidents clearly shows viewers what not to do. We salute you.
Quote from Jill
Andy: Hey, tool man. I love your show. [grunts]
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah.
Andy: You must be Mrs. Arr-arr.
Jill: Well, actually, Arr-arr-arr is my married name. My maiden name was... [high-pitched barking]
Quote from Tim
Randy: Want us to tell you what Mom got you?
Tim: [loudly] No, I don't want you to tell me what Mom got me. The surprise is half the fun. [quietly after Jill goes upstairs] I want to know and I want to know right now.
Randy: Oh, well, you know, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Tim: Mark, two bucks?
Mark: Broom closet. Top shelf.
Tim: All right.
Randy: Hey, I didn't know there were gonna be bribes involved.
Tim: Where have you been living the last ten years?