Jill Quote #48
Quote from Jill in Nothing More Than Feelings
Jill: What does my drooling have to do with home improvement?
Tim: Nothing.
Jill: So you just got up and said, "Oh, what a beautiful morning. I think I'll humiliate my wife today."
Tim: I was just telling stories on the show with these guys and I brought up the oil light and we seized the motor...
Jill: Wait a minute, wait a minute. You told them about the oil light?
Tim: Uh-oh.
Jill: Why did you do that?
Tim: I don't know.
Jill: Why did you go on TV and humiliate me?
Tim: I don't know.
Jill: I got a good idea. Why don't you just change the name of your show from Tool Time to My Stupid Wife. [As Jill goes upstairs and slams a door, Tim's tools once again fall off the rack in the garage]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Nothing More Than Feelings’ Quotes
Quote from Mark
Mark: Mommy, I'm worried.
Jill: About what, honey?
Mark: If you drool and sleep on your back, won't you drown?
Jill: No, honey. Thank you for your concern. Eat a carrot.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Tim, the car is running fine.
Tim: It used to be running fine. Inside of a car is an internal combustion engine. Composed of many precision parts running at a high RPM. High RPM produces friction. Friction produces heat. Heat is dissipated by lubrication - oil. When the car didn't get the oil that it needs, it tends to seize up into a rock.
Jill: Are you saying the car's not running?
Tim: We now own a 4,000 pound, four-door boulder.
Jill: You mean I can't drive it?
Tim: Not unless you're Wilma Flintstone.
Quote from Tim
Tim: How long has the oil light been on, Jill?
Jill: Oil light...
Tim: The oil light. Next to the speedometer. A little red light with an oil can on it.
Jill: Oh, that thing. I don't know, two or three days.
Tim: Two or three days? It's a warning light. Didn't it occur to you there might be a little problem?
Jill: I thought if there was a problem with the car, that the light would get brighter or there would be a buzzer.
Tim: A buzzer?! It's a car, not a game show.