Al: Why don't we take some audience questions while Tim lathers up this ruggedly handsome balloon?
Heidi: All right, any questions? Yes, sir?
Ben: Uh, no matter what kind of razor I use, I cut myself. What do you recommend to stop the bleeding?
Heidi: Grow a beard. [snorts]
Al: I recommend a styptic pencil.
Tim: You don't want to use toilet paper. Otherwise, you have squares over your face with the red dots in them. Looks like your face is covered with little Japanese flags. Very embarrassing down at the VFW Hall, I'll tell you that.