Tim Quote #2802
Quote from Tim in An Older Woman
Al: Why don't we take some audience questions while Tim lathers up this ruggedly handsome balloon?
Heidi: All right, any questions? Yes, sir?
Ben: Uh, no matter what kind of razor I use, I cut myself. What do you recommend to stop the bleeding?
Heidi: Grow a beard. [snorts]
Al: I recommend a styptic pencil.
Tim: You don't want to use toilet paper. Otherwise, you have squares over your face with the red dots in them. Looks like your face is covered with little Japanese flags. Very embarrassing down at the VFW Hall, I'll tell you that.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘An Older Woman’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: The 19th century English novelist Elizabeth Gaskell said, "The wise parent nurtures the desire for independence in order to become a friend and advisor when his absolute power ceases."
Tim: If an English novelist said that, how come it's not in English?
Jill: What he means is if we expect Brad to listen to us we've got to be on his side.
Tim: But we're not on his side, honey.
Jill: Yeah, but it's reverse psychology. We have to pretend we are.
Wilson: Well, that isn't the most honest interpretation of Miss Gaskell's words.
Jill: I don't think she'll complain. She's been dead 100 years.
Tim: Show a little respect. That's Eddie Haskell's mom, right?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Brad?
Brad: Listen, before you guys say anything, there's something I want to tell you.
Tim: You want to register at Toys 'R' Us?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Brad, do you think maybe you're moving a little fast in this relationship?
Brad: We're moving fast because we really like each other.
Tim: Brad, I think the point is she is three years older than you. And, um, we're just worried that maybe you're getting in too deep.
Brad: You're three years older than Mom.
Tim: Look how deep I'm in.