Jill: "Hey Yo. By Brad Taylor."
Tim: I like the title.
Jill: "A locker room survey shows that our varsity baseball team prefers boxers to briefs eight to one. The one wearing the tightie whities declined to comment."
Tim: That's probably because the elastic strap was cutting his breath off, you know.
Randy: This is pure fluff. "Hey, yo. Tennis team's Drew Levin is now dating his doubles partner Debbie Silverman."
Tim: Way to go, Drew.
Randy: Mom, they'll never put this in the paper.
Jill: Look, it's not a hard-hitting expose, but I bet the kids will find it fun and entertaining.
Randy: Mom, if every paper had reporting like this, we'd have a nation filled with idiots.
Tim: [chuckles] This is great.