Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, and you all know my assistant - Al "Thinks He's Getting A Christmas Bonus" Borland. Well, as you all can see, it's yule time on Tool Time. Before we get into our project today, we have a special feature for you.
Al: That's right, Tim. Binford stocking stuffers. There's nothing that says "Peace on Earth" better than a Binford power tool.
Tim: [grunts] Yeah. Doesn't Al just jingle your bell sometimes? Heidi, the stocking stuffers, please. ["Deck the Halls" instrumental plays]
Heidi: Here you go, Tim.
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. Now, stocking stuffers usually... [music continues] generally have... Ooh, boy. Klaus! Whoo-hoo! Thank you. Stocking stuffers sometimes are difficult to pick out for men. But Binford has made it easy this year with stuff like this. The new Binford mini propane torch. Huh? Stand back. Stand back. It's small, but portable enough you can fit it in a pocket. Whoa! Wouldn't put it in there, though. You can remove facial hair with it. You can do a little soldering on the house, melt glass tubing, or if your wife's out, melt her earrings down and make handy fishing lures out of them.
Al: Also, we have the Binford 6100 digital torque wrench.
Tim: It'll be the torque of the town this Christmas. Ho-ho-ho.
Al: That's right. They'll also be torquing about... [chuckles] the new Binford fiberoptic flexible flashlight.
Tim: Now, as odd as it seems, this is actually a great gift for guys. This thing can find auto parts strewn around the garage, look in dirty pipes or any dark, dusty area you have. [Al shines it in Tim's ear]
Al: In one ear, out the other.
Tim: Just like your job, Al. In one day, out the other. Now, finally, for the man without a vice, a vise. The Binford Bench Buddy 2000. It's got a swiveling base, serrated steel jaws and a clamping capacity of seven and one-half inches. [grunts "Jingle Bells"]
Al: Well, actually, Tim, the... The bench vise is too big to be a stocking stuffer.
Tim: Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, are you ever right. If you want to stuff that into a stocking, you need a special stocking, like this one. Like one of Al's mom's thermal hunting socks. Don't let her in here. [lights dim; loud thudding] It's your mom, Al.