Tim: I'm just about finished splitting the wood for your party.
Wilson: Well, thank you, neighbor. You know, I'm very anxious to get your opinion of this woman I've been dating.
Tim: Oh, she's great. Just don't marry her.
Wilson: Oh, you haven't even met her.
Tim: Doesn't matter.
Wilson: Neighbor, you are a yuck a minute.
Mozart: [squawks] Yuck-a-minute. Yuck-a-minute.
Wilson: See? Even Mozart's got a sense of humor.
Tim: Maybe you should put Mozart on the TV show and have him...

Jill: Tim, leave the cat alone.
Tim: It keeps hissing at me!
Jill: Happy Halloween, Wilson.
Wilson: Oh, Jill, you look bewitching.
Jill: Thank you.
Tim: Yeah. Maybe later tonight we can go home and make some Munchkins.

Tim: Wow! Nice hook. Is that cold-forged carbon steel?
Wilson: It was my grandma's. Tim, I'd like you to meet my attorney, Morgan Billingham. He's helping me re-do my will.
Tim: I hope that's a mask! [laughs]

Al: Well, Happy Halloween!
Tim: That is something else, Al. It's like a moth on steroids. What happened?
Al: All this coming from a monkey with clam dip on his tail? Made you look! [laughs]

Jill: Nice cloak. Are you a vampire?
Agatha: I'm a witch.
Jill: Oh! Me, too. Bibbidi bobbidi boo!
Tim: Where's your hat?
Agatha: I don't wear hats. I'm a real witch.
Tim: I'm a real flying monkey.
Jill: So, a real witch. What kind of witch are you?
Agatha: I'm a Dianic witch. I realized my power 12 years ago. Now I'm a high priestess at the Society of Sisterhood coven.
Tim: Well, you know what they say... Nothing says loving like something from the coven.

Al: Tim, I just had my palm read. Guess who I was in a former life?
Tim: An Irish lap dancer.

Tim: Hey. Love some punch. I hope you didn't make it, because I'm eye-of-newt intolerant.
Agatha: You seem to be intolerant of quite a bit.
Tim: No, I'm actually... I tolerate quite a bit... You know, that's water-based. Better be careful. You might melt.
Agatha: You have no idea who you're dealing with, do you?
Tim: Come on, lady. Talk to the hand. Talk to the hand.
Agatha: A witch is one you should not test or else her wrath will never rest.
Tim: [hisses]

Jill: You'll never guess what the palm reader told me.
Tim: That you were Cleopatra in your last life.
Jill: No. That I have a nice butt.
Tim: Better be careful. He'll be reading the back of my palm, I'll tell you that.

Tim: Oh, what happened here? Wilson? Wilson?
Mozart: [squawks] Hidey ho! Hidey ho!
Tim: Scared me, Mozart!
Mozart: Scared me. Scared me.
Tim: Wilson! What's your hat doing here?
Mozart: A witch's wrath will never rest, never rest, never rest.

Tim: Something is really weird over at Wilson's house.
Brad: Yeah. Well, duh.
Tim: No. It looks like it was broken into. The house has been ransacked. In the middle of the floor there's a bunch of these candles sitting around, and underneath his hat is Agatha's necklace.
Jill: Oh, my God! What do you think is happening?
Tim: Well, I think Agatha, that hex nut, has done something to Wilson. I'm gonna call the police.
Jill: Okay. It's number three on the speed dial, there.