Emily: There you go.
Lorelai: Mom, I think somebody already ate that.
Emily: That is a mashed banana on toast.
Lorelai: Okay.
Emily: I used to make this all the time for you when you were a little girl.
Lorelai: You did?
Emily: Yes. Whenever you got sick, I made this.
Lorelai: You sure it wasn't the other way around?
Emily: You don't want it?
Lorelai: No, I want it.
Emily: I'll just take it back.
Lorelai: No, Mom, I said I want it.
Emily: Are you sure? Because I could throw it away.
Lorelai: Uh, relinquish the banana, please.

Emily: You can't possibly be comfortable like that.
Lorelai: Mother, please, this is the first position in 24 hours that has not made me crazy.
Emily: All right. You're not eating.
Lorelai: Mom, please don't make me eat this.
Emily: You have to eat something.
Lorelai: Sookie left me a burrito in the fridge.
Emily: I'll go warm it up for you.
Lorelai: Eh, I can eat it cold.
Emily: Fine, I'll just go get it then.
Lorelai: Hot's better, though.
Emily: I'll be right back.

Jacob: Would you like to dance?
Rory: No, thanks.
Jacob: Maybe I could get your number?
Rory: What for?
Jacob: To call you.
Rory: I'm sorry, aren't you here with Paris?
Jacob: Yeah.
Rory: So maybe you shouldn't be over here asking me for my number then.
Jacob: Why? Paris is my cousin.
Rory: Your cousin?
Jacob: Yeah.
Rory: Paris is your cousin? You're related?
Jacob: Yeah.
Rory: Jacob, it's been very nice to meet you. I hope you have a lovely evening.

Emily: You know, Rory looked so lovely tonight.
Lorelai: She did, didn't she?
Emily: I just can't get over how she's grown into that little woman who walked out of here.
Lorelai: I know. You know what, Mom? I made the dress.
Emily: You did a lovely job.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Emily: With Rory and the dress.
Lorelai: Thank you.

Emily: Well, let me get this out of your way. You really don't remember me making this for you when you were sick?
Lorelai: I don't, I'm sorry.
Emily: Well, I did, and you loved it.
Lorelai: You know what? Let me give it a try.
Emily: All right.
Lorelai: [clears throat] [eats] Hmm.
Emily: Yes?
Lorelai: It's even more disgusting than I thought it was gonna be.
Emily: Oh, it is not. [eats] Oh, my God, it's horrible! What on earth was I thinking? [Lorelai laughs]

Paris: So how many people have you told? Four? Five? Everybody?
Rory: What are you talking about?
Paris: You know that Jacob is my cousin. And now you finally have all the ammunition you ever needed just to pay me back, right?
Rory: I don't wanna pay you back, I just wanna get away from you.
Paris: Now you can just go all over school and tell everyone that Paris Geller couldn't get a date to the dance. That she had no one. And since she couldn't just not come, she had to get her mother to ask her cousin Jacob to take her. And she had to give him gas money to make him do it. Go ahead, tell them!
Rory: I don't have to. You just did.

Tristin: We haven't met.
Dean: No, we haven't.
Tristin: I'm Tristin.
Dean: Ah, yes, we have.
Tristin: What are you talking about?
Dean: Rory's mentioned you.
Tristin: Oh, yeah?
Dean: Yeah. I wouldn't get quite so excited about it.
Tristin: Why, did she say something mean?
Dean: She said you're a jackass.
Tristin: Really?
Dean: Actually, no. Uh, Rory doesn't use words like that. I embellished a little.

Tristin: Oh, so you're the big, strong protector? Little princess needs a protector?
Dean: What's your problem, man?
Tristin: Nothing. I just don't like your girlfriend, that's all.
Dean: Really? It doesn't look that way to me.
Tristin: I don't really care how it looks to you.
Dean: Hey, you got in my path, not the other way around. [Tristin steps in front of Dean as he moves to the side] You're kidding, right?
Tristin: Why, are you going somewhere?
Dean: Get out of my way, Dristan.
Tristin: Oh, aren't you clever?
Rory: Hey, what's going on?
Tristin: Nothing. Just getting to know your boyfriend here.
Dean: It's going real well, don't you think?
Tristin: Oh, yeah. We're just about to build a clubhouse.

Rory: Okay, well, I hate to break up the party, but we should go.
Tristin: Why? Little girl's got to be home?
Dean: Stop!
Tristin: No, I think you two make a very cute couple. Is your horse and buggy parked outside? Gotta get home for the barn raising?
Dean: Let's go. [Dean shoves Tristin as he steps in front of him again] What the hell do you think you're doing?
Tristin: Oh, you will not push me again!
Dean: Are you seriously trying to act tough? You're wearing a tie, for God's sake!
Tristin: Outside, now.
Tristin: I'm not fighting you. It'd be like fighting an accountant. I'll call you when I need my taxes done.
Dean: You don't want to fight me, Tristin!
Tristin: Why not?
Dean: 'Cause I'll kill you, idiot! Come on, Rory. [to Tristin] You will not come near her ever again.

Emily: She's not there. Aren't you listening?
Lorelai: Rory? Rory?
Emily: Where's the phone? [Lorelai walks around] Call the police. What are you doing? Call the police!
Lorelai: Mom, stop it!
Emily: What are you doing?
Lorelai: I'm looking for the phone! What do you think I'm doing?
Emily: Why don't you ever clean up around here? This is an emergency and you can't even find the phone. What if there was a fire? What if Rory was choking?
Lorelai: Mom, stop yelling.
Emily: Rory is missing!
Lorelai: I know that, and your yelling is not helping me.