Michel Quote #80
Lorelai: Why were you deposed?
Michel: My neighbor had this dog, a frisky little scamp that used to love to yap to his friends all night long. It was so cute. Then one day he disappeared. I told the police what I knew, but sadly the adorable little chatterbox was never found. It was tragic.
Lorelai: You got rid of a dog?
Lorelai: How could you get rid of a dog?
Michel: I will gladly show you the transcript from the lawyer and the results of the lie detector test.
Lorelai: You're heinous.
Michel: And very well rested.
Quote from Lorelai
Rory: This is your first deposition. Grandma's lawyers just want you to be prepared.
Lorelai: Sample questions, great. It's bad enough I have to give a deposition, now I have to study for it?
Rory: Shall we begin?
Lorelai: Go ahead.
Rory: Please describe how your mother runs her household.
Lorelai: Okay. Well, do you remember the rowing scene in Ben Hur?
Lorelai: I'm sorry, did that reference date me? Should I have gone with the "Express Yourself" video?
Quote from Emily
Emily: So it's my fault?
Lorelai: I didn't say that.
Emily: No, Lorelai, you did. For years, I've been listening to you and your father and everyone else go on and on about how demanding I am, how I have to have things a certain way. Well, guess what? I pay to have them that way. I pay more than anyone else pays their maids, and when things are not the way I want, that means I'm not getting what I paid for. Why is that so hard to understand?
Lorelai: It isn't hard to understand, it's just...
Emily: If you pay for first class and the airline sticks you in coach, people expect you to be upset. No one calls you demanding or unreasonable. And yet here is this woman whom I pay more than she can get anywhere else in Hartford, whose severance package could finance a summer cruise down the Rhine, dragging me into court saying that I was unfair. Why? Because having paid for one thing, I'm not content with something else? That makes me unfair? Well, then, so be it. Let someone else pay first class and ride in steerage, not me.
Quote from Super Cool Party People
Lorelai: Is that our website?
Michel: It is.
Lorelai: What happened to it?
Michel: I made some modifications.
Lorelai: It's just a big picture of you.
Michel: Well, I figured since I'm the one who put the website together and I'm the one continuously updating the website, then I should be featured prominently on the website.
Lorelai: Featured? Sure. But where's the inn? All I see is your face.
Michel: Aha! But if you want to hear about the inn, you click on my mouth. See? And if you want pictures of the inn, you click on my eyes. And if you want to post something about the inn, you click on my ears. Clever, no?
Lorelai: You want to argue about this now or later?
Michel: Eh, later. I'm having too much fun.
Quote from Welcome to the Doll House
Lorelai: Where is all this stupid stuff coming from?
Michel: Looks like classic Home Shopping Channel merchandise to me.
Lorelai: I have not bought anything off the Home Shopping Channel.
Michel: That you remember.
Lorelai: How could I not remember?
Michel: You could be deluding yourself, suppressing a shameful, costly, and yes, extremely tacky shopping addiction from your memory.
Lorelai: I do not have a Home Shopping Channel addiction. This does look familiar, like I've seen it before.
Michel: Mmm-hmm. And was Joan Rivers or Suzanne Somers holding it up?
Lorelai: I'm not buying these things.
Michel: You keep telling yourself that.