Taylor Doose: Can you sign this? Michel, hold it right there. Michel. Michel, I have a complaint. Michel? Michel?
Michel: Can I help you?
Taylor Doose: I was talking to you, and you just walked away from me.
Michel: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were calling someone else.
Taylor Doose: Someone else named Michel?
Michel: If only I could read minds.

Lorelai: We need you to look at Kirk's butt.
Sookie: Why?
Lorelai: Well, because he ran into some rose bushes, and he's got some thorns stuck in it, and I thought of you.
Sookie: Me? Why me?
Lorelai: Well, because you're a chef.
Sookie: What?
Luke: And you have a kid.
Lorelai: Yes, that's better. You have a kid.
Luke: Neither of us has kids. Well, she does, but it's big and... and... and can look at her own butt.
Lorelai: I got this, thanks.

Michel: That man is why mail-order brides were invented.