Dean: After school, you come out and sit under that tree there, and you read. Last week it was Madame Bovary. This week it's Moby Dick.
Rory: But why would you-
Dean: Because you're nice to look at. And because you've got unbelievable concentration.
Rory: What?
Dean: Last Friday, these two guys were tossing around a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. I mean, it was a mess. Blood everywhere, the nurse came out the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was freaking out and you just sat there and read. I mean, you never even looked up. I thought, "I've never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. I have to meet that girl."
Rory: Maybe I just didn't look up because I'm unbelievably self-centered.
Dean: Maybe, but I doubt it.

Lorelai: [phone rings] Michel, the phone.
Michel: Mm-hmm. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.
Michel: [answers phone] Independence Inn, Michel speaking. No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.