Kirk Quote #247
Miss Patty: It's so nice seeing you back in here.
Babette: Been a long time. What 9, 10 months?
Lorelai: Something like that.
Kirk: Actually, I can tell you exactly when Lorelai was in her last 'cause I marked it in my calendar. "May 22, 2006, stool available?" It's important to-
Luke: Enough, Kirk.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Well, well, well I always suspected this day would come.
Lorelai: Hi, Kirk.
Kirk: You're not getting this seat back.
Kirk: You can't, it's mine now and frankly I can see why you hogged it for so long.
Kirk: It's clearly the best stool in the joint. Close to the cash register and the kitchen, which guarantees plenty of face time with the boss. Climate wise it's positioned between two air-conditioning vents which creates a nice cross ventilation...
Quote from Paris
Paris: So, I don't know where I'll be, but I think I know what I'll be.
Paris: A doctor.
Rory: Oh, Paris, that's great.
Paris: It's always been my dream, you know? Last night, when I was lying in bed watching the ceiling spin...
Rory: I told you that last drink was a mistake.
Paris: It just became perfectly clear.
I've always wanted to be a doctor, for as long as I remember. When I was a kid, I used to cut the heads off my dolls to see what was inside.
Rory: I'm guessing you didn't put that on your applications.
Paris: I let myself get swayed by the promise of black-card corporate America, but the truth is I want to be a physician. Always have, always will.
Rory: Well, I think it's a very noble profession.
Paris: Oh, yeah, definitely. It's as close to being God as you can get.
Quote from Blame Booze and Melville
Kirk: Sally Forth is on fire today. On fire!
Luke: Where did you get a quarter of a million dollars!
Kirk: What? I don't have a quarter of a million dollars.
Luke: You don't?
Kirk: No. Just shy. It's $247,868. Sixty-seven, if I get a couple of donuts to go. Those chocolate raised are calling my name.
Luke: Where the hell did you get that much money?
Kirk: I've been working for eleven years, Luke. I've had fifteen thousand jobs. I've saved every dollar I've ever made. That and the miracle of compound interest has created a bounty of a quarter of a million dollars. Again, just under. I don't want to brag.
Quote from Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too
Kirk: I took it upon myself to poll the town, and I think you're gonna be pretty happy with the results.
Sookie: We are?
Kirk: Jackson is solidly in the lead.
Lorelai: We just started bugging people.
Kirk: Well, I modeled my poll after the Gallup poll. The Gallup poll uses a sample of 1,005 voters to represent the 280 million people of the United States. Using that logic, the correct sampling size of the town of Stars Hollow would be 0.002. Rounding that up means one person needs to be polled, so I picked me.
Lorelai: You polled yourself?
Kirk: I was right there. Seemed like a perfect opportunity.