Lorelai: What's this?
Richard: Don't touch that!
Rory: He slapped my hand earlier.
Emily: It is top secret.
Lorelai: Oh, my God. It's the weapons of mass destruction. Quick, get the president on the phone.
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: If he's not in the oval office, try the ice-cream room.

Miss Patty: Well, uh, I-I don't know. You know, half the time people speak to me, I'm thinking about Baryshnikov. Did you see Turning Point?
Luke: No.
Miss Patty: Oh, that man was so beautiful.
Luke: Yeah, I'm sure.
Miss Patty: Pure sex walking. Flying, actually. That man could fly. Have you ever thought of taking dance?
Luke: Me? No.
Miss Patty: Well, maybe you might want to think about it. There's nothing sexier than a man in tights.
Luke: Yeah, I'm sure that's true.
Luke: Look, can you just tell Lorelai I came by?
Miss Patty: Oh, of course I will, honey.
Luke: Thanks. Stop imagining me in tights, Patty.
Miss Patty: It's a free country, honey.

Kirk: I have a theory, Taylor.
Taylor Doose: Let's hear it.
Kirk: Our usual town troubadour, he was discovered last week on these very streets.
Taylor Doose: Discovered?
Kirk: Some big-time music manager was limo-ing through town, and he caught one of the troubadour's songs, gave him an opening slot on Neil Young's tour.
Taylor Doose: Who's Neil Young?
Kirk: One of the Monkees. Anyway, I'm guessing when word hit the east coast troubadour community, every one of them thought to come to Stars Hollow for their shot at the big time.
Taylor Doose: There's an east coast troubadour community?
Kirk: Oh, yes, our wandering musical storytellers. It's an honored American tradition going back to the puritans. Gierke Schoonhoven delighted his fellow pilgrims with his timely songs. His most popular was "A Beaver Ate my Thumb." It was quite catchy. I wonder if Neil still does "Last Train to Clarksville." I love that song.