Lorelai: Do you mind if I turn on the music, Mom?
Emily: That's fine.
Lorelai: Whatcha in the mood for? "Jailhouse Rock"? "Folsom Prison Blues"?
Emily: You're very funny, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, no, no. I know, I know. "Working on the Chain Gang."
Emily: Yes, it's all quite amusing, isn't it? My being arrested, held behind bars, manhandled, and patted down? Hardee-har.
Lorelai: Aw. I just have one question for you, Mom. Why on earth did you call me? I mean, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for that incredible gift. You don't need to get me anything for the next five Christmases.
Lorelai: But why did you call me, not Dad?
Emily: It was his first night teaching at Yale. He was having dinner with the dean. I'm not about to call him so he can excuse himself to come bail his wife out of jail. I can't begin to tell you how incompetent our police department is. That officer Peters who pulled me over. He's going to be receiving a big, fat subpoena, and I'm not stopping there. Wait. What is this? What's this car? What's going on here? Are you two on a date?
Lorelai: No way. You are not changing the subject. We're not talking about anything else except you in the clink. Now, come on. Spill. What was it like on the inside, huh? Did you try to tunnel your way out with a spoon, you know? Did they try to make you join a gang? And, Mom, now that you're on the outside and they're still on the inside, are they gonna try to use you as some kind of prison mule? There's just so much I need to know!