TV Quotes

Mr. Moon: Niles, good news. Our feet are the same size.
Daphne: Daddy! I knew you'd come.
Mr. Moon: Hello, Stilts. Ah, give your old dad a kiss.
Daphne: Mum, look who's here, all the way from England!
Mr. Moon: Hello, Gert.
Gertrude: "Hello, Gert"? That's all you have to say for yourself? For forty years I've been a good wife to you, raising your children and boiling your meals, and letting you work off your animal lusts, and all I get for my trouble is a cheery "Hello, Gert"? Well, your fatal charm is not going to work this time, so you can just drag your sorry arse back to that barstool it normally sags over and leave me the hell alone! [cheerily] Thank you, Niles, that was a nice surprise.
Mr. Moon: You're right. She has mellowed.

Henri: We have some magnificent specials this evening.
Gertrude: Just so you know, Henry, I won't eat frogs, snails, slugs or eels. And don't try slippin' 'em under the
sauce. I'm on to you people.
Henri: I shall repeat this to the chef and I'm sure some other delightful surprise will find its way onto your plate.

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.