Roger: "Well, I had a really good year, so I decided, hey, why not reward myself? So I bought what I really wanted, a 48ft cabin cruiser. Want to know how much it cost me? I'll tell you how much it cost me, 300 grand. Not to mention the $20,000 for the custom teak decking. Now, here's my problem: My wife wants to call this incredible vessel 'Lullubelle', after her mother. 'Lullubelle!' So, I say no, we call it 'The Intrepid'. So, what do you think it should be called, 'Lullubelle' or 'The Intrepid'?"
Frasier: Roger. At Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the "tunneling electron microscope." Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call.

Frasier: Hello, Doug, this is Dr Frasier Crane. I'm listening.
Doug: "Yeah, it's about my mother. She's getting on now and she doesn't have much of a life. I mean, she doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I mean, she literally hangs around the house all day. I mean, it is very frustrating."
Frasier: Doug, I'm sorry. Can we just go back for a second? You said your mother "literally" hangs around the house. I suppose it's a pet peeve of mine, but what you mean to say is she figuratively hangs around the house. To literally hang around the house you'd have to be a bat or a spider monkey. Now back to your problem.
Doug: "Do you mind if we stop while I tell you my pet peeve?"
Frasier: Oh, not at all.
Doug: "I hate it when intellectual pinheads with superiority complexes who nitpick your grammar when you come to them for help. That's what I've got a problem with."
Frasier: I think what he means is, "That is a thing with which he has a problem."

Daphne: Thank you, Dr. Crane. Shame on you, Dr. Crane. Why can't you be more like Dr. Crane?

Niles: Frasier, don't be angry with me but I do have one theory.
Frasier: Yes, Niles, I was wondering when you'd get around to that. So, just allow me. I was so ashamed of my chickening out at the rally that I grabbed at the first fight that came my way. Of course, it turned out to be the wrong fight and I needlessly lost my job. So, if you follow that theory through to the end, this heady feeling of euphoria I'm experiencing right now is frankly nothing more than a deep-seated denial.
Niles: So, have you considered it?
Frasier: Not for a second!

Frasier: What has happened to me, Niles? I used to be so courageous. To fight for things. When did I become
so middle-aged? So timid?
Niles: Don't be so hard on yourself, it's part of life. We all get a bit more cautious as we get older.
Frasier: Not me. God, it was only five years ago I packed up my whole life in Boston, moved across the country to start over. That took real courage. Now, ha-ha, the biggest risk I take is saying to Dad, "Hey, let's go out to dinner, you pick the restaurant".