Frasier: You know, Lilith actually told me the other day that Frederick has taken to lying. Yes, he told all of his friends that Lilith is an alien.
Martin: Seems as good an explanation as any.
Frasier: He also told them that she wears her hair in a bun to hide the third eye in the back of her head.
Roz: How did Lilith find out?
Frasier: Well, apparently she was driving him and two of his friends over to a Junior Mensa meeting, she looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that they were making faces at the other cars. Never have the words "I can see you!" caused so much screaming and wetting of pants.

Frasier: [showing a guest out] Glad you came back with us. I hope you had a good time. Well, I can't tell you how much fun this has been. Listen, now that you know the way don't be a stranger. OK. Good night! [after closing the door] Who the hell was that?
Niles: He's not from the station?
Roz: I never saw him before.
Daphne: He was table-hopping like crazy during the awards.
Martin: That's 'cause he was our waiter.
Frasier: Well, that's the last time I say, "everybody back to my place!"

Niles: An argument can certainly be made that a lie is good when it spares someone unnecessary pain. I'm reminded of Maris's brief flirtation with active wear when I assured her, "You look fine, darling. Spandex is supposed to blouse."