Frasier: Where have you been? We're on in two minutes!
Roz: Forgive me, but I was busy preparing your schedule for tomorrow. You've got lunch with the station manager, you're recording a PSA at three o'clock and don't forget to send flowers to your sister-in-law at the hospital.
Frasier: Oh yes, Maris's face-lift!
Roz: Really? I didn't know she needed one.
Frasier: Well, she doesn't, actually. There's nothing wrong with Maris that wouldn't be cured by a little sun, some exercise and a personality.

Niles: Oh God, I'm due back with Maris. Oh, if anyone needs me, I'll be sleeping at the hospital tonight.
Frasier: Why?
Niles: Maris's doctor feels it's more soothing for the patient to duplicate the home environment as closely as possible. So I slipped a pearl-handed revolver under her pillow and got myself a room across the hall.

Niles: Frasier. What are you doing here?
Frasier: Oh, I finally got Dad and Artie Walsh talking again. Of course I did have to resort to cheap, manipulative pseudo-psychology.
Niles: Always go to your strengths.
Frasier: Well, what about you? It looks like you've bought out the entire gift shop. Maris should be pleased.
Niles: Oh, this isn't for Maris, it's for her nurses. They're having a meeting right now to discuss her care and from what people tell me, a hospital strike can be ugly!