Niles Quote #192

Quote from Niles in Frasier Crane's Day Off

Frasier: I just can't let that smarmy little chowhound do my show for another day. Oh God, anybody would be better. Niles. Niles, would you do my show for me?
Niles: Frasier, I think that fever of yours is making you delusional.
Frasier: Oh, no! I filled in for you when you were too sick to meet with your "Fear of Intimacy" group.
Niles: I wasn't sick. They were just getting too close.

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 ‘Frasier Crane's Day Off’ Quotes

Quote from Niles

Roz: And here's the cough button in case you need to cough or clear your throat. And most important, here's an extra-long commercial to use if you need a bathroom break.
Niles: Thank you, but those won't be necessary. I have no cough reflex, and excellent bladder control.
Roz: It's true. All the good ones are married.

Quote from Niles

Roz: You're on in ten seconds and your first caller is Marcia.
Niles: Marcia. "Hello, Marcia, I'm listening." That is so trite. "Hello, Marcia, tell me where it hurts." No, no. "Hello, Marcia, I hear you." No.
[Roz points at Niles. He doesn't understand and points back. She points again. Niles gives her a thumbs up.]
Roz: [speaking through her mike] Good afternoon, Seattle!
Niles: Oh, yes! [on air] Hello! This is Dr. Niles Crane, filling in for my ailing brother, Dr. Frasier Crane. Although I feel perfectly qualified to fill Frasier's radio shoes, I should warn you that while Frasier is a Freudian, I am a Jungian. So there'll be no blaming Mother today.

Quote from Niles

Niles: Well, look. This is from Marta, our maid. It's a poultice you wear around your neck. The recipe comes from her remote mountain village in Guatemala.
Frasier: I can see why her village is remote.
Niles: Well, yes, it is pungent. But, by inhaling these herbs, many of the villagers live to be well over a hundred. Marta herself is seventy-eight, and you should see her scramble up the stairs when Maris rings her little bell.