Niles Quote #304
Quote from Niles in Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Twice...
Niles: Do you believe that woman? That's the second time that's happened to me this week. I have half a mind to say something.
Frasier: Well, then why don't you?
Niles: Oh, you know. Something happens to me when I talk to a beautiful woman. From the moment they begin staring into my eyes, my knees turn to jelly.
Frasier: Still, Niles, we both know the only way to break people off their bad habits is by confronting them.
[The woman walks up to the counter and stands next to Niles]
Niles: Oh, that's true.
Frasier: So? [gestures toward the woman]
Waiter: Who's next here?
Woman: I am! I'll have a cafe.
Niles: Oh, oh, oh, oh! No, you're not! You weren't next here, I am! I suppose people like you who glide
through life wrapped in a cozy little cocoon of narcissism never notice such things. But you'd do well to learn this lesson, sister! There's still such a thing as good manners in this world, and that's why I would like to insist that you let me buy you your coffee and also please try the poppy seed muffins.
Woman: Thank you.
Niles: You're welcome.
[Niles places money on the counter and staggers away]
Frasier: You were kind of brutal, weren't you?
Niles: All I remember is I was next, and then the sound of blood thundering through my ears.
‘Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Twice...’ Quotes
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: This whole thing reminds me of when I first moved to London. I was very mistrusting of people back then. I was convinced the way to stay out of harm's way was to walk straight with me eyes cast down, never meeting anyone's glance. But finally, I decided that was no way to live. So one day, I just lifted up me chin and took it all in. Well, the change was amazing. There were sights I'd never seen, sounds I'd never heard. A tiny old man came up to me with a note in his hand. He needed help. I realized this was no city full of thieves and muggers. There were people here who needed me. I took his note, read it, and to this day, I can remember just what I said to that man. "That's not how you spell fellatio."
Quote from Roz
Niles: So, that's a nice jacket.
Roz: Thank you.
Niles: Offbeat.
Roz: And what is that supposed to mean, "offbeat"?
Niles: Well...
Roz: No, wait, I think I know exactly what it means. Offbeat as in cheap. Well, excuse me for not being rich enough to shop at the International House of Tight-Ass like you and Maris the heiress! That is what you meant, right?
Niles: Yes, but I had no idea you'd pick up on it.
Roz: Then you were insulting me.
Niles: Yes, but you got in a couple of good shots yourself.
Roz: I did, didn't I? I'm so glad we did this.
[Frasier returning to see Niles and Roz shake hands]
Frasier: You know, sometimes I am such a good therapist, I scare myself.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: So, Roz, you gonna join us?
Roz: No, I think I'll just go sit over here.
Niles: Roz? Are you trying to avoid me?
Roz: Well, can you blame me? I mean, it took you nearly a year just to learn my name and every time we sit together, you have some kind of snide remark to make.
Niles: Name one.
Roz: Well, last week you told me my bedroom was easier to get into than a community college.
Niles: I was hoping that would be the one you'd name.