Frasier Quote #82

Quote from Frasier in The Crucible

Frasier: OK, Roz, who do we have?
Roz: We have Gary from Issiqua on line two. He and his wife had a big fight.
Frasier: Sorry to hear that, Gary. I'm listening.
Gary: "Well, you see, Dr. Crane, my wife's hell-bent on going to Italy this year."
Frasier: Ah, Italia! The rolling hills of Toscana, the art of Firenze, the passion that is Venezia!
Gary: "Yeah, well, anyway, I like taking a vacation as much as the next guy, but I say if we dip into our savings, the first thing we should buy is a new sump pump for the basement. At least with that-"
Frasier: Oh, listen, Gary. Let me stop you right there. I'm afraid I'm going to have to side with your wife on this one.
Gary: "But the trip to Italy costs 1,800 bucks, and that doesn't include the Splendors of the Vatican package."
Frasier: Gary, there is more to life than sump pumps. Whatever happened to feeding our souls? Look, for example, I recently purchased a painting by one of this country's premier artists. Oh, it's not important who. Well, it's Seattle's own Martha Paxton. Practical? No. But ever since acquiring that painting, I look at it every day and there's not a moment when I do that I'm not uplifted by its beauty. So, Gary, go to Italy. Bring back a suitcase full of memories. Will you do that?
Gary: "I still think I should get the sump pump."
Frasier: Well, then yes, Gary, you- You should get the sump pump. We'll be right back after this news break. Roz? Uh, just what is a sump pump?
Roz: If you need one, you'll know.

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 ‘The Crucible’ Quotes

Quote from Roz

Frasier: Gee, so what do you think of the place? Is it everything you imagined it would be?
Roz: Well, to be frank, Frasier, I don't spend my idle hours imagining how you live. But I did expect lots of beige. And look, I was right.

Quote from Martin

Martin: What are you doing to do now?
Frasier: Well, they forced my hand. I'm going to call the police.
Martin: 555-3000.
Frasier: Thanks, Dad. Try to mess with Dr. Frasier Crane, I'll teach them. Hello. Oh, yes, just a second. Dad, who do I ask for?
Martin: Have them put you through to the Fine Arts Forgery Department.
Frasier: Hello, yes, the Fine Arts Forgery Department, please. Dad! They're laughing at me.
Martin: Give me the phone. Hi, who's this? Hey, Doris! Yeah, Marty Crane. Yeah, that was my son. I just thought he needed a bite of a reality sandwich. Yeah, give my best to the guys. Thanks. Yeah, bye.
Frasier: What was that?
Martin: Frasier, the boys downtown have got their hands full with murders and robberies. They don't have time for this artsy-fartsy stuff.

Quote from Niles

Martin: Forget it, Frasier. Five years of litigation and you'll end up paying eight times what you paid for the painting.
Niles: He's right about that.
Frasier: God, I hate lawyers!
Niles: Me too. But they make wonderful patients. They have excellent health insurance and they never get better.