Frasier: Now listen. I realize that this is a very difficult situation, but if we all cooperate, we can send everybody
home happy. Dad, if you would like, you can discretely take Bonnie aside and tell her what's going on.
Martin: Bonnie, can I tell you something?
Frasier: I said discreetly.

Bonnie: Hey ya, Marty. Oh, you must be Frasier, the big radio star.
Frasier: Oh, yes. Hello.
Bonnie: Your dad is so proud of you, he talks about you all the time. Who's your friend?
Martin: Now, what's wrong with you? I told you about my other son.
Bonnie: Oh, of course, what am I thinking? Nice to meet you, Eddie.
Martin: This is Niles.

Frasier: Roz, will you please relax and watch the pageant with us? They're right in the middle of the talent competition.
Daphne: It's shameless the way they're sucking up to the international panel of judges. Miss Germany just played "Lady of Spain" on a French horn.

Roz: I just keep worrying that she's gonna have a lousy time, and it will be all my fault. Screwing up, like always.
Frasier: Oh, come on, Roz. Your mother doesn't think you're a screwup.
Roz: Oh, yeah? In high school, I ran my own informal shoplifting clinic. In college, I dropped out of pre-law because it interfered with Bruce Springsteen's touring schedule. And now I'm an unwed mother. What would you call me?
Daphne: Tramp.
Frasier: Daphne!
Daphne: It's Miss Venezuela. If that dress of hers was slit any higher, you could see Caracas.

Daphne: This is ridiculous. I'm going to watch this in my room. Miss Finland just laid out her plan to end world hunger, and I missed it.

Frasier: So... Tell me all about it.
Martin: Well, being a gentleman, I don't want to go into the details, so suffice it to say, it stunk!
Frasier: What?
Martin: That was the dullest evening of my life. The way she drones on and on. Do you know how many metric tons of eggs Wisconsin produces every year?
Frasier: No.
Martin: Well, I do!
Frasier: Oh.
Martin: Look, Frasier, I know you meant well, but if you ever set me up again, I'll kill you in your sleep. Goodnight.

Roz: So, has Martin called her yet?
Frasier: No. But he will. Soon. Uh, he had a really busy morning.
Roz: Well, how does this weekend look? 'Cause she's leaving Sunday night.
Frasier: Sunday? Oh, well let's see, tonight is poker night, that's no good. Saturday he's made plans to, uh, drive Duke to Tacoma for that all day... Tacoma-Fest.

Roz: Well, on Sunday we go to a matinee and then I drive her to the airport.
Frasier: Oh, darn.
Roz: Wait a minute. I can give my ticket to Martin and they can go together.
Frasier: No, no, Sunday's no good, because that's the, uh...
Roz: Oh, right, it's the Super Bowl.
Frasier: Right, the Super Bowl. You know how Dad is about football, it's like a religion with him. In fact, he's made Niles and I promise that we'd watch it with him this year.
Roz: Oh, well, OK. Let's just forget about the tickets and we'll come over and watch the game. Is there any reason why that won't work?
Frasier: Not that I can come up with.

Frasier: I suppose the sooner I tell him, the better.
Niles: Oh, not necessarily.
Frasier: What do you mean?
Niles: Well, you know Dad. If you warn him Joanna's coming over, he'll just bolt to McGinty's. If I were you, I'd wait until five minutes before game time and then spring it on him. That way he has no choice but to stay.
Frasier: I think I owe him more than five minutes' warning. Besides, Dad would never deliberately hurt Joanna by standing her up. He is first and foremost a gentleman.
[Martin enters]
Martin: I saw Roz, so I hid outside in case that old gasbag of a mother was with her. [looking around] Well, I guess she wasn't, everybody's still awake.

Martin: What's the matter with you? You keep looking at your watch.
Frasier: Was I?
Martin: Yeah. Is there something on your mind?
Frasier: No, no, but there's something I wanted to talk to you about, but now's not the time. [doorbell rings] Now's the time.