Frasier: Steve, I'm afraid we'll be taking these to go, thank you.
Julia: Oh, glad to hear it. Goodbye, Frasier. Goodbye, Emergency Frasier.
Niles: I don't like her.
Frasier: I don't like her cafe anymore. Let's go. Ah, thank you, Steve. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm afraid my brother and I will not be the everyday stalwarts I predicted we'd be.
Steve: [flatly] Damn. Every time I open my heart.

Frasier: My name is Frasier. This is my brother Niles. We're thinking of making this our regular haunt.
Steve: [flatly] Way to go.
Frasier: We'll have two espressos, please. I'm sorry, and your name is?
Steve: Steve.
Frasier: Stephen. Outstanding.
Steve: Just Steve.
Frasier: Steve. I look forward to years of this sort of lively banter.

Maureen: Excuse me, is there a problem?
Frasier: Well, yes, as a matter of fact there is. This man is making it impossible for me to converse with my brother.
Maureen: I think he's great.
Frasier: Ah. I understand. You two are friends. Perhaps you used to "gig" together in your salad days. But, if you wish to alter the atmosphere of this cafe, I suggest you consult with the owner.
Maureen: I am the owner.
Frasier: Oh really. Well, I'm Frasier Crane. It's a pleasure.
Maureen: Maureen Nervosa.
Frasier: Really?

Frasier: Hello, Julia.
Julia: Hello, Frasier. Wow, who's this? Your stunt double?
Frasier: This is my brother Niles. Niles, I'd like you to meet my colleague, Julia Wilcox.
Niles: How do you do?
Julia: Wow, that's very good, Frasier. I didn't even see your lips move.

Frasier: I tell you what, I'll be back in about an hour to go over this month's "Best of".
Avery: Oh, I don't think an hour is going to be long enough, Frasier. Your finances are a mess. Your spending's out of control.
Frasier: Well that's impossible. I'm very prudent.
Avery: Then what about this nine thousand dollar caviar bill for last month? And what's with you and wine? I had to take on an associate just to go through your sherry receipts.

Julia: Okay, everybody, the "I'm a Pathetic Loser" show is over.
Frasier: My listeners are not pathetic losers.
Julia: I wasn't referring to your listeners.

Julia: Oh, it's a pleasure to meet a fan, Avery. [to Frasier] A fan is someone who enjoys your work.
Frasier: Yes, and do you know what they call someone who can't stand your work?
Julia: In your case, the public.
Frasier: She was supposed to say "What?" and I was going to say "Me." Oh, come on, let's get out of here.

Martin: Hey, Fras. How was your trip to the accountant?
Frasier: Fine, fine. Uh, why are all these lights on? All right, I'll be honest with you. Avery had some very stern warnings for me. The situation isn't dire, but it could become serious if I don't change my ways.
Martin: Well, that doesn't sound too tough. Get balcony seats at the opera.
Daphne: And stop throwing away your change.
Frasier: Oh, that was one time! And if you'd seen that cashier's fingernails, you'd have done the same thing.

Ben: You ready for some more music, Seattle? [Everyone applauds] Great!
[After Frasier unplugs the man's amp, the crowd begins to boo]
Frasier: I quite agree. I am sorry, young man. If we wanted to hear your music, we would attend one of your concerts. In the bus station.
Ben: Well, people seem to like it. Here, they clap along, and it's been enough to keep me out of the three piece cage.
Frasier: The what?
Ben: The suit, man. The suit.

Niles: They found a way to bring the charm of an airport to a mid-town location.
Frasier: Now, Niles, let's try to be positive, this may be out new home.
Frasier: Yes, this will do nicely. This will be our regular table. And that will be our backup regular table.