Mel: Hello, Niles.
Niles: Uh, Mel, hello. Well, I, uh, I gather things are coming to an end. Thank you for being true to your word.
Mel: No, thank you for doing such a good job in... Phase One.
Niles: "Phase One?"
Mel: Well Niles, it occurred to me that if we end things now, people will wonder why, when, you know, we've been so happy. So I've decided that it's not so much that I'm going to leave you, as you're going to drive me away.
Niles: How?
Mel: Through a series of staged events, in which you will thoroughly humiliate yourself by playing the part of a complete ass.