Frasier: Hello. I'd like to return this purse.
Sales Associate: I'm terribly sorry, but this was a sale item and we have a no-return policy. You wife didn't like it?
Frasier: Well, I'm not married at the moment.
Sales Associate: Girlfriend?
Frasier: No, no, no, no girlfriend either. In fact I don't have time to go into all my other non-existent relationships. It was a gift for a friend.
Sales Associate: Ah, well. Perhaps your friend would like to make it work with some matching shoes. We have up to size thirteen.
Frasier: This really was a gift and I would thank you when you say the word "friend" not to italicize it.